Dear police, I don't want it to be like this.
I want it to be like this.
I have learned that cops are just naturally attracted to me. Blue and red lights are a common sight in my rear view mirror. Why is that, you might ask- do you speed, swerve, tailgate, or break any road safety violations? No my friends, I don't. Well... not usually.
No, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) cops seem to like to pull me over and then simply let me go. Why cops, why?
One time a cop actually made me do a sobriety test on the side of a busy road. I had been the DD for the night. So I was definitely sober. In fact, there was no indication otherwise, but he still made me do the test in front of all the cars passing by. Talk about embarrassing. I was also the only driver during our epic road trip to be pulled over. Guess what happened. He looked at my license and then let me go. What?! When does that happen?
Anyway, the point is that I'm paranoid to the millionth degree now. I convince myself that cops are following me and that I'm going to get a ticket even though I've done nothing wrong. I swear I'm not schizophrenic.
So, police: let's go back to being friends okay?