Things I've Learned Thursdays

4.19.2012

April 19, 2012
So I've been thinking about how I need to have at least one feature on this little blog. I feel like it's a staple here in blogland, and I'm jumping on the band wagon.  As I was contemplating I came up with the idea of Things I've Learned. I know, I know, it sounds serious *gasp.* Yes it may be at some times, but it may also be funny. I think it will be a good way to be real with you, and that's what it's all about right? Anyhoo, here it goes!
Lately most of the things I've been learning have to do with marriage. Surprise, surprise! We are almost at 9 months, and already we have learned so much. I'm not going to go into all of the details(I will spare you from that), but I am going to touch on one small (BIG) thing. 
Communication.
If you don't have it and you don't work on it expect disaster. Ultimately it is the thing that can build or break any relationship. Look, I know this is something that is screamed off the top of the mountains when it comes to relationships. But I'd like to suggest a little something different. Learn your partner's style of communication. 
It is not always so obvious, certainly not to me, that people communicate in very different ways. I mean I had heard that before, and I was kind of like, sure yea got it-communication styles, check! But it wasn't until I was trying to talk about things and Rion was trying to think about things that it clicked. It frustrated me that he wasn't communicating "correctly" and the same could be said for him. Fortunately our pre-marital counselor had given us some pretty sound advice. Compromise.What's that again? 
We compromised on our communication styles. Instead of having to come to a concrete conclusion before talking to me, Rion compromised by telling me what he was thinking at the moment. I compromised by not pressuring him into telling me his final opinion, and giving him time to think. I know, problem solving, it's adorable. 
Anyway, communication and communication styles are something that may seem simple, but end up becoming very sticky. Rion and I have learned that no matter what- it is best to be open with everything. And that literally means e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Then it becomes really awesome to know that despite your faults you are loved completely. So sometimes it's hard but it is totally and utterly worth it.
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6 comments:

Shaylynn... I BLAHWG. said...

I was in a long distance engagement.. for over a year.. it taught me to communicate.. and you're reminding me once again.. that I am single, and need a friggin man:) but this was a wonderful reminder of the necessity of communication.

Beverly said...

Gooooorl.. you ain't nevah lie about COMMUNICATION! I still am taking lessons in that phase in my relationship... I don't think I (or he) will ever perfect communicating... BUT it definitely is getting better by the minute ;)

Megan said...

That wedding photo is gorgeous, I love it. I hope it's framed somewhere :)

I have a hard time with communication, especially when I'm upset about something. I have a tendency of expecting people to know what I want without using words to explain it. Tsk Tsk!! I'm slowly getting better though.

Lena said...

Mmm.. marriage. My favorite class of all time. And discussing all of its lessons with you.. another one of my favorites:)

Jenna said...

Ain't that the truth! We've been married 6 months and dealing with the same issues :) Thanks for the advice!

Jazz said...

So true and so right. I don't know where my 9 year relationship would be if we weren't extremely open in our communication and compromise. I like these things I've learned thursdays, keep em' coming.